Originally Posted by bballer1
Ok Iíve put her out the master bedroom and I have been coming home late trying to stay busy at work. I have also quit texting her every time she text me during the day.

Great. Now have ZERO expectations. Don't watch her like a hawk to see if she's getting closer, or pulling away, or wondering why she's not reacting, or reacting negatively. Because any of that is STILL you not pulling away like you think you are, right?

Now as I pull away she seems to be pulling away as well. She was concerned and worried for maybe one day but the past two days she seems to be pulling further away from me. She didnít say maybe two words tonight and she went to her room and has been working on school work

Case in point. What she does needs to cease to be your concern. When you have time, read TXHubby's sitch:


He started out as a very typical DBer, trying all the "tricks" and monitoring his cheating W for results. Stuck in limbo and slowly dying because of it. Then one day he had an epiphany, asked himself why he was letting his W have so much control over his health, safety and well-being. In an instant he detached and dropped the rope and never looked back, he was DONE. He went about doing his own thing and barely said two words to his W unless he absolutely had to. He didn't care what she did or with who, he got busy doing his own thing. Lost weight, dressed like a stud, occupied himself with all kinds of GAL activities. THEN his W realized not what she "was losing" but "had already lost" and she literally begged him to take her back.

^^^THAT is what it takes.^^^ All this "I've detached but my wife is doing ABC and not doing XYZ, why? What am I doing wrong?", that is NOT detachment. It is pretend detachment, and it will make NO DIFFERENCE in your sitch. Seek to understand what REAL detachment is and pursue it.

Me: 59 w/ S17, D23, D26
Current R: 4 years
Previous M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:56