I just got a phone call from one of my daughters. My youngest daughter, who is 3 months pregnant, had a miscarriage. She is so completely devastated and I don't even know how to help her. I hurt so badly for her. They were SO excited about having a baby. I am just heartbroken for both of them.

When it rains it pours. I try really hard to try and keep a positive attitude. I try to keep my negativity to myself. But, this budget crisis at work is starting to get to me and it makes me fear whether I will even have a job this time next year. I'm too old to start job hunting and have to change careers AGAIN. They need to get their sh!t together and figure out what is going on.

I'm still feeling overwhelmed by the impending move and actually need to get started packing up my stuff because my brother wants to start moving it THIS weekend. He's going to help Sparky with some minor cosmetic work on the "new to me" house this Sunday and he wants to load our vehicles with stuff and carry it on down there since we are going anyway, which is a good idea, but puts me under the gun a bit since I have been lazy and dragging my feet. I am super excited about decorating a new house though. And, for now, we are going to just divvy up what furniture we have and use it, but we are going to start looking at new things to buy together so that we have new furniture throughout the house that we chose together. We have some ideas for upgrades on the house too that we are going to start working on as soon as I get moved in. We figure if we do it one room at a time, it will be less overwhelming and will also be less costly.

At this point, I'm just holding my breath until October gets here and I will be moved into Sparky's and I can just focus on settling into my new home in the woods, on the river, peaceful, serene, and getting new furniture and working on wedding plans.

I think I can, I think I can....make it to October 1.


Me 49, XH 51
3 adult daughters from his first marriage
3 grandsons, 1 granddaughter
My 1st marriage, his 2nd
BD 9/29/2014
H moved out 10/6/2014
H filed D 11/4/2014
D final 12/17/2014