My situation may be somewhat different due to my own infidelity 15 years ago. From past conversations she still holds resentment for that incident and justifies my pain by saying she also endured it for a year. Somehow she rationalizes what she is going through as me putting her through it back then.

Should I consider handling this any differently due to my past mistakes and what I put her through during that time period. What I am trying to say is that should I be careful in how I detach or show tough love?

Our sleeping arrangements remain the same and she continues to want to sleep in our bed. I am thinking of changing checking accounts and splitting it as Sandi suggest. I have tried to be hesitant in being judgmental due to my situation many years ago.

She is begging that she wants to work on the marriage and willing to save it now that I have started to pull away, however I am not naive to know that she isn't just going to stop. I do believe the physical has stopped but the emotional attachment is still there due to seeing him everyday. She admits they talk in passing etc...

I also know that I can't fully heal with her working her job and seeing him everyday. Given she will likely change jobs next year and dealing with this for a year will be unbearable. I know I have to detach and move forward in case of more betrayal and possible divorce in the future.

I mentioned my father said someone called to tell them what was going on, meaning most people in town was talking about it. Her response was it is just rumors and that's the way I am looking at it. JUST RUMORS, REALLY?