Thanks AS.

I didn't list everything no, although I really wanted to. She asked about certain things and I gave information - not in great detail you'll be pleased to hear (!):

I only answered questions where she'd ask about something:

"How have your exams gone then?" -I said I passed my exams and would be getting a pay rise soon.

"What else have you got going on?"
-I said I have lots of gigs lined up in the next few months.
-Gym induction this week

(OK, probably should have just said "Yeah loads of stuff going on. Keeping busy." and left it at that).

"What are your living plans?"
-I just said I'd stay at home with parents and save for the moment. Didn't go into more detail.

My costs are going to plummet significantly, so I'll be able to save quite a bit over the next 6 months or so and build up a nice deposit.

Things I didn't tell her about are that I've applied for a 2nd evening job, IC going extremely well, publisher interest for a piece I've worked on, other financial stuff, trips out to London planned.

Neither of us can afford to immediately move in to a new place alone, even though her sister keeps saying to her "Just buy a new place! You'll have some money!" (in her usual 'just do something coz you can' attitude). We both have very specific needs about what a house must have and how it's laid out - mainly space! - so both of us need to buy the RIGHT house in the RIGHT place. That's worth me holding off on buying immediately in the interim certainly.

I am doing the whole "look good" thing for me. I want her to see that I am doing fine and happy. I am working on portraying a positive look not just with her but with everyone I interact with. I think it worked with her anyway. She didn't comment on how I looked or anything but I felt good about myself and that's all that matters. My sister and her husband and even my mum have said "You're like a different person now. You're much more confident and look better."


My fault for not making that clear. I did validate about her living concerns. I said something like "yes I can understand how you've be worried about that." Then she said something else and I said "that's the reality of this decision."


Yes I'm of course happy to do things like email out info or attend to small matters regarding the house sale. I just don't want her to expect me to do ALL the communicating with the estate agent. We definitely won't sell at a loss - it's been valued higher than what we bought it for. We'll both walk away with a modest five-figure sum each. At least I get the value of my deposit back in full, and pretty much get back the amount I've invested in the house (furniture, bills, garden stuff etc.) over 3 years. I can clear all my debts (not that I have anything significant though, which is good).


I was a bit sad when I got home thinking about how nice the house is. Lovely location and we worked hard at it. But then I thought, I can move closer to my family, and get a GREAT house to myself and make it my own. I reminded myself that I haven't lost everything - I have somewhere to go, have my family, and mates, and my job. I'm doing better than ok.

Last edited by Dan35; 09/16/19 02:36 PM.

Me - 36, W - 32
No kids
T - 8 yr, M - 3 yr
Discovery - 14 May 2019
S - 25 May 2019 & D bomb - 29 July 2019
D & House sale final - Feb 2020