Update on meet up at the house:

[Hadn't seen W since 17 August]

OK it went well. I was pleasant, confident, wore nice new clothes, expensive cologne, haircut, clean car, the works.
I was there just under 2 hours.

She asked how I was and "what's new?" I told her about my exams.
"Anything else?" she asked.
I said I had lots of gigs lined up and would be earning a lot in the next few months. Days out planned. Proper gym induction on Tuesday.

I asked about her. I listened and validated as she talked about the extra work she's had to take on and not enjoying.

She was also talking about how she went out heavily drinking several times and went ot work hungover etc. I was very unattracted to her at this point - she was like when we first met in 2010.

We emptied the dishwasher together while we talked.

Then we stood in the kitchen and talked. She has lots of stuff on too. I listened. I validated well I thought. I felt I validated well when she said she was lonely in the house - her main reason for selling. I said things like "I can see why you'd feel that way" or "yes it must get lonely here a lot being on your own."
She is worried about moving to live with her brother. He has a very small house. She was saying, "I just don't know how I'll fit all my stuff in his house, or how I'm going to run my businesses anymore."

I responded "Well, this is the reality of this decision." She didn't answer me back.

Also she said, "And what will be do with all the stuff in the shed?"

Me - "Find a place for it."

I went to the garage and took some stuff to my car, then got my mail and parcels.

We decided on an agent. I made her email them. She wasn't happy about that.

Later on she said, "this is your house too so you can do some things as well to help the sale. I'm very busy and have a lot on."

[Cheeky! I thought, "what, and I'm not busy?!"]

I then reminded her to pay me a final payment for her Macbook (I bought it on my credit card and she's been paying me back for it).

I said I needed to leave (was meeting my sister for dinner later). I didn't give W a hug when I left, nor did I say "nice to see you" or anything. Effectively, I left by saying, "OK, well I'll be off then. Keep me in the loop about the house. See yah."

I weird thing - I did not feel VERY SAD when I went there today.

I think I came across well - no arguments. We didn't discuss R or D.

Within 20mins of me leaving, she texted to say "Thanks for coming and helping out. I've sent you the money for the Macbook. Does that mean I'm fully paid up now?" Strange as she knows it's an hour's drive to my parents' house. I waited until 8.30pm and just replied: "Yes the Macbook is fully paid up." Nothing more.

If she expects me to do more then I'll say, "With respect, the decision to sell the house is yours. You should therefore lead the sale. I will cooperate, but I will let you drive."

Last edited by Dan35; 09/15/19 08:01 PM.

Me - 36, W - 32
No kids
T - 8 yr, M - 3 yr
Discovery - 14 May 2019
S - 25 May 2019 & D bomb - 29 July 2019
D & House sale final - Feb 2020