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quit overthinking things. You need to toughen up. That was the point of my Mencken quote from the other day. You need to get an edge to you. I'm not saying to be disrespectful, but women are attracted to men with an edge.
You can show leadership in a way other than facilitating a divorce you don't want. I would let her pick the agent and stay out of it. It's not hard and she's a big girl. If she wants to be single she can figure it the hell out. Just tell her that she can handle the home sale and leave it at that. If she presses further you say "I thought this is what you wanted". And then say no more. End of conversation, you have somewhere to be and something to do.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.