I genuinely don't think she's seeing someone else. For the amount of times she's banged on about my breaking the marital vows etc., I really don't think she has it in her to be seeing someone on the side.

Her main reasons for leaving are:
1. the deceit and length of time - lasted the entire 8 yrs of our R. She feels that I knowingly did it, and 'loved' or 'enjoyed' it as I never stopped. However I did want to stop as I was feeling ashamed of it for a long time. She feels I rejected her and didn't want her.
2. the fact that I contributed to the sites (uploaded things, commented, friended other users, etc.)
3. messaged the women online for 8 months
4. uploaded 2 pics of SIL in a private chat with 1 of the women

She is completely anti-porn. No wriggle room on that.

She also said she was unhappy with me being rather 'passive' in the R, however she didn't bring it up regularly. We were otherwise very happy - she wasn't grumpy or anything - and we never really argued. She would always tell me "you're a good man" and "you work hard".

This is why it's such a shock.

Me - 36, W - 32
No kids
T - 8 yr, M - 3 yr
Discovery - 14 May 2019
S - 25 May 2019 & D bomb - 29 July 2019
D & House sale final - Feb 2020