hey doodler, yep. organic is best. I have a few really good guy friends, most whom I've known for over thirty years, so it's not like I don't hang out with guys and get the male perspective on things from time to time.

anyway I was talking with one of them yesterday about my car. I have it back and the interior is a mess. it's just so cluttered and dirty. how did that happen? well, I run from place to place taking care of everything else and the stuff for me gets put on the "I'll get to it" list, which never happens.

I really feel that how we treat ourselves is how others treat us. by putting myself last I feel I gave my exh permission to do the same, and by extension any future partner also. this has got to change. yes I have a $h!t ton going on, but if I fall so does the rest of the jenga tower.

so, as absolutely silly as this sounds here's my plan:
1. I'm gonna clean the stuff out of the car
2. I'm going to make an appointment to have it detailed (but leave the leather alone - I don't trust their products)
3. AND MOST IMPORTANT I'm making a date with myself. One Saturday of every month is going to be car maintenance day. I will spend 2 hours spiffing her up. I'm checking out the products at Jay Leno's Garage, as the Nordkap leather is really special (midnight blue black) and needs extra special care. Microfiber cloth to keep the dust away. I feel that making a date with myself to do this AND KEEPING IT BECAUSE I'M IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO KEEP DATES WITH is a significant step in much needed self care.

I feel like it's also a real message to the Universe that I feel like I matter in a way I haven't consciously expressed in the past.

Happy Saturday. Got a date at the hairdresser in a few. More self care.


M 20+ T25+
BD 4/6/15
D Final 12/23/16


“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” - Rumi