Job - just saw your bday greetings and ty very much!

Got my beloved car back last night. It's weird. Or rather, I'm weird. It feels weird. I dunno what I mean. I'm glad it's back. I feel like that whole accident thing was another major letting go of exh and it feels really good. Now this car is my car, not the car he went to extraordinary lengths to buy for me. This is a good thing.

As my car, there will be some things I do differently with it from here on out.

All in all a painful and ultimately freeing experience. More birthing pains as I become the new post D me, incorporating all the experiences to date and hopefully not being limited by them.

Thankfully it's Friday. Friend and I are getting together Sunday to celebrate my birthday. I'm going with the flow on this relationship.

Andrew's thread has got me thinking. I've nearly succumbed a couple of times to going out with guys I had no interest in simply because they were interested in me. I didn't even realize that's what was going on at first, until I saw one of the guys a second time, chatted with him and was like, no. my first impression that we would not be a good match was upheld, further underscored by a conversation with a mutual friend. I then had to ask myself why I was willing to overlook that initial reaction. My answer was that I feel it's time for me to move on. I want to ultimately be in a relationship again because I really loved what I thought I had (emphasis on thought). My relationship was good for a very long time before it went south. However upon reflection I also feel like I'm living a good life without a romantic partner, and I would rather be alone and focused on the very many things going on in my life than add someone else with their attendant baggage, people, drama, etc. unless they presented a very compelling presence.

I think this is a pretty healthy attitude. I'm not looking for someone to fill in any gaps here. I've got them covered. If someone can add something, then I'm open to reviewing the resume, lol. As a widowed friend of mine said to me recently, it's really nice to go hang out with someone, have a couple of drinks and a nice dinner and just enjoy the day. Yes. Exactly. That's my starting point.

M 20+ T25+
BD 4/6/15
D Final 12/23/16

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” - Rumi