From your previous post, it sounds like you've already communicated that to her, correct? So, now you can only see from her actions whether or not she can meet you where you need her to be.

I've been thinking about actions over words a lot lately - seems like the gold standard. I get it and I agree with it, but I think that there's some nuance to it. I examined my own ways in which I would say something but not follow through or my actions didn't communicate what my words were expressing.

I realized that many times I said something or agreed to something is because of NGS and I didn't want to let someone down or I was trying to please them. But internally, it didn't jive with me and I didn't say no or express my true feelings because I didn't want to create conflict. I also realized that I was doing that through instinct and learned behavior, and not with the recognition that my words were a way to cope with my insecurities.

So, now I am much more aware of what I am doing and saying and I don't say something to not follow through with it. Even little things that I agree to, I make sure I do them. Sometimes it was also just laziness or forgetfulness on my part, which I needed to rectify.

All in all, what I am saying is that I wonder if your W's inaction is a symptom of larger issues, rather than her not wanting to make you a priority. She already said she wants to reconcile etc, but she's not following through.

I am also wondering if her desire to reconcile is coming from a place of desperation rather than genuine reflection on what her contributions to the deterioration of the marriage. If as you say that she hasn't gone through that process herself, I would put her desire to reconcile in the 'suspect' pile because she truly doesn't know what she needs to do for herself to be a better partner. An offhand comment about more sex is just a quick response rather than thinking about dynamics of intimacy in your marriage.

Maybe I am blowing this out of proportion as I tend to sometimes overthink things. But, I think that you waiting around is just going to be a period of anxiety and anguish as she takes time to figure herself out.

I think it's admirable for you to try to reconcile with her after all that you've gone through. I personally at this point can understand it, but it's hard for me to now relate to considering where I am in my journey. I just could never go back. But that's just a side editorial and me projecting my feelings, so don't let it carry any weight.


No one is coming to save you!