Actions matter over words. If you aren't seeing any action on her part over a period of time, then you can make a decision. How much time? That's entirely your call. I know this is ambiguous and not reassuring, but isn't this whole process like that?

My question is this - what do you need concretely from her to believe that she is committed to a process of reconciliation? Whether it's going to be successful or not is another story, but that is of irrelevance right now.

Once you have that figured out, then you can truly say whether or not enough time has passed for you to make a decision.

No one is coming to save you!