I guess that wasn't nice to tease like that was it? I just didn't want to make my typical long post even longer. As for CruiseGate 2020. I very much agree with you, KML, and that's where I'm headed - looking likely to a female friend with or without benefits or the potential of to hopefully be able to go. I've got about 25 days and counting to figure it out.

As for Wild Girl... I don't want to repeat too much, hopefully the regulars remember some details about her and others can look back at older posts. But she was D'd for about 10 years, seemed to have walls up, didn't seem to be looking for a LTR or marriage, etc. That said, I did get the feeling she longed or at least considered having another baby - even at 43 to 45. She also had a history of picking some loser guys - duschebags as she called them.

So following the cruise, at first we had regular communication - well a couple times a week is what I mean by that. That lasted for about a month but as it appeared I was clearly being kept for Plan B and having somewhat lost interest, and then just naturally, things fell off. Since January I had seen her in person twice - once for her brithday within a month after the cruise and then in June after I found another piece of clothing of hers. We talked on the telephone twice - that last was for my birthday in April and texted now and then. So really no communication in months. Our last text had been 6 or 7 weeks prior - her texting me to tell me it was her dad's B-day and her parents would be in the audience at a large event I was gigging at. She knew we'd sing happy birthday to him from stage. We texted a bit during that day but that was it.

Imagine my shock when I got a text from her new BF saying something like - "This is Butt Head, Wild Girls boyfriend. Wild Girl and her girls live with me now. She's not been available since the end of last year. I want you to put a lot of distance between you and Wild Girl. It's time to move on Don." At first I was like, whoa, what did I do? My next thought was, dude your text is 6 months too late!!! I thought perhaps there was more communication than I thought - I checked and clearly not. So of course the first thing I did was text Wild Girl. Turns out he broke into her phone or in some way read our texts without her knowing and had another meltdown. That's how he got my #. Now there was nothing to see since the cruise - but if he went back far enough he clearly got an eye full both in text and pics. But this was a year ago. I'm like WTF. She said he was being protective - I said it sounded more like possessive. Evidently she told him we are just friends and she was not going to stop being friend with me. So evidently not being able to get her to comply with what he wanted, he'd try controlling me. With a little help from Ginger I crafted a response basically saying, look i don't control your GF or who she is friends with. Don't put me in the middle of your problems - you need to work this out with your GF. I added that I was the least of his problems as we've not had much communication at all.

In talking more with her and with her BFF, it's again clear he's rather controlling. Her BFF has not seen her much this summer at all. Remember the cruise was the end of January. She moved in with him in June. Perhaps not fast by some standards but clearly by mine. To my surprise she came to the state fair again with her parents a few weeks ago. Others from the cruise were there including one of my best female friends who she had bonded with. She told her she hopes to get married next year. When my friend said, wow that's fast, and asked what she sees or why he's "the one," she could not really answer. "he bought me a kayak was one response." "We both like the outdoors" was another. She asked if the kids love him. She said they like him - but not love him? my friend said. She just smiled. I got the strong sense that D18 didn't even move with them. She's been bunking with friends and others until heading to the dorms for her first year of college. D18 is very sharp and a much better judge of people and other things than her mom.

It's not at all my issue and I've not really thought much since. Obviously, it took this long for me to even tell the story. It's just not on my radar, but wow, did I misread her. One of my friends said early on he thought she was just telling me what I wanted to hear. Remember she'd always say we are just hanging out - not dating, etc. I fear she's repeating what happened with her ex H and ex BF. Both slowly isolated her and controlled her. She now needs him for a place to live. Being a single mother with a modest income, one starting college, I think the fact he owns a business and seems to be financially set like me is a huge factor. I think she was much more lonely and desperate than I thought. I would not be surprised if she tries to have another baby. But I also would not be surprised if things abruptly fall apart too. Remember this guy had a live-in GF immediately prior to chasing Wild Girl. He's 42 and I think never married. Now, I expressed concerns all along. I said she was somewhat broken. She clearly is challenged by the truth. I just figured she was content with the casual we had and didn't want more with anyone. Now I'd bet that if I had love bombed her or even just said I wanted more she would have been all in. Of course that's not what I wanted so I have zero regrets of how I handled things. I just misread things. Or is this just the norm - this is what every woman wants - even when she doesn't think it's what she wants? I'm beginning to wonder.

Anyhow, I still see her parents often and her aunt somewhat often. It was fun for what it was. Once again, however, it's not what they say - it's what they do!!!!!


DonH
Midwest
Me 56
WAW-EXW 55
Met 11/95 / Married 5/00
Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06
4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D