While I've not updated here much at all, nor really posted all that much, I have still been reading along rather consistently and throwing out a few comments here and there. Last year I wore pretty much everyone down with what a friend IRL called "CruiseGate 2019" LOL. I said I'd try not to do that this time around together with not driving myself crazy, and have done a great job of both - both here and IRL - perhaps to my detriment...
I've just had very little ambition to date. I've met a few women here and there but as picky as I am, I didn't really pursue anything and am sure didn't give off any "I'm interested" scent. Interesting how another very regular poster here wrote that all it takes is for a woman, pretty much any women, to show a little interest and he's in. Not much else matters. While that has down sides all over the place (that I won't go into now) a little part of me wishes I had at least some of that in me. I just don't. I need the entire package - not just looks and size but brains, intellect, interests, personality. morals, values, temperament, Etc. Give me the best looking woman I've ever seen but if she could not carry a conversation beyond 10 minutes I'd give a hard pass on her.
I don't know what I was thinking... I guess just that like last time nature would take over and it would all just fall into place. Funny thing, it was exactly one year ago to today (perhaps within a few hours) that I asked Wild Girl to go on the cruise. I say this is interesting (and figured it out) after the happenings of the past 72 hours. Trying to keep it short, it started on Friday when I was told they need a name TODAY. I'm like - can't do it. Even if I were to ask one of the three I'm considering, they are all at work and I can't just call, ask and say "I need to know right now." I heard nothing more and when I asked on Sunday at the gig with this band, the leader had not heard anything either. It was then I figured out he booked us nearly a year ago.
Enter CruiseGate 2020 - - - Those of you who road this ride with me last year may remember I was very concerned about the dynamics and personalities involved. After meeting this goof last year many of those feelings were confirmed. Now they have been confirmed in stone. I open my email yesterday and see my flight along with 2 others had been booked!!!! I'm like WTF??? Evidently, the old crusty goof with a caustic East Coast personality, who really needs to retire, decided he was not going to wait for Don when he had a whim to book and just booked my flight anyhow. He said he'd give me a $350 allowance to book my date/guest/friend/FWB on my own. Again WTF. I would have pulled out right then and there and forced his hand but the band leader strongly went to bat for me - saying that was not the deal. Plus I'm supposed to take someone then have her fly by herself, take her own luggage and get herself to the hotel the night before sailing to meet up with me. Nice. But true to his bafoonism, he booked us a nice direct flight to Fort Lauderdale on the way down and a pretty nice direct flight back to New Jersey on the way back. Um yeah, we don't live anywhere near New Jersey. I'm guessing even a few of year were thinking, "New Jersey, I didn't think Don lived on the East Coast." LMAO. What an idiot but it forced him to cancel those flights and give me what he should have given me right away. I now have until September 15th to get him a name and he will book all of us together then.
At least I know the rules now. I still don't have a clue what I'm going to do and while I always will take input, it's been well proven that I either see this differently or readers just don't get it. I'm not going to take a guy, I'm not going to go alone - especially now. There is no way in you know what I'm about to gift this A-hole back by him pocketing flight $$$ and the amount he will save on a single cabin (small as it is - but he will save a few hundred). So to more or less write him out a check for $500+ is not going to happen.
I've expanded my list of potentials by a factor of nearly three - including a few many states away from me and female friends with no romantic interest. There are two or three women I've dated in the past, two FWB and three or four friends - some of which could become FWB or even dating material I guess but I'm thinking of them as friends. Thing is, I just don't feel it with any of them. I mean obviously - if I did, I'd still be dating them, or dating them for the first time. And even Sept 15 leaves four months until launch. At least that's more in the reasonable range but as we've seen here, a lot can happen in four months.
I may lay them all out in detail here - or i may not. I guess if inquiring minds want to know... While I really am taking all of this just fine... it does stink that an otherwise really golden opportunity get's so badly tarnished because I don't have a wife or GF. Just not fair. Actually makes me appreciate having met my ex W as at that time in my life I was doing all sorts of travel and so was she. We'd take one or perhaps two vacations on our own dime but the other often three or four trips were paid for by my work or hers - including the many cruises I ran and free trips I "won" through work. I can't imagine having gone through this three times a year - and perhaps giving up free travel and going by myself. That was at least one very good point about being married/having a GF. The other thing is, drama a few weeks prior aside, Wild Girl really was the perfect date. We got along great, didn't have a single disagreement, everyone else loved her and keep in touch yet now, had a good experience being with someone for 10 straight days. So she did set a kinda of high bar - at least higher than my current list can meet.
The rest of my life has been going well. Got a lot of work done on my yard and deck. Been just busy enough to keep me engaged but not so busy (or so quiet) for it to be a problem. Have traveled all over this year - starting with the cruise in January, Netherlands in April, Nashville over Memorial Day, St. Louis, Florida and booked back to perform in Nashville again in November before cruise #2 in January 2020. So life is good. Just no S.O. to live it with. Oh and Wild Girl - - - got a great update there but I'll save it for next time. I guess I misread her - well at least in part - . Go figure. But first, I need to figure out Cruise Gate 2020!
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D