Originally Posted by TBSakaJ9
I have never been to BB, just heard good things. Well the Dr. makes a lot more than I do and is moving money back and forth between her personal account and business account so it would make sense. It doesn't bother me but to your point whatever works!


Broken Bow is a cool, eclectic little town. Small town, so not a ton of things to do, but there is a neat little winery and a few other things like that. Beautiful country for sure. In my previous life, I lived in a small town in extreme western Arkansas that was only about a 30 or 40 minute drive from Broken Bow. In fact, the OK state line was less than 20 miles from my house.

I'm not sure what tone it sets for the day when the first song I hear when I start the truck to come to work is AC/DC's "Highway to H3ll". LOL I'm hoping that it was just the fact that I like AC/DC and not some ominous forewarning. I don't have to drive very far for work, which will sadly change when I move to Sparky's house, but anyway, in my short drive this morning, I also heard Aerosmith's "Dream On" which is one of my most favorite songs, so at least I ended my drive with a positive song. LOL

Had a LONG talk with my best friend last night. I feel bad for him because he's in a not so great place right now and my heart hurts for him. He had a pretty rough childhood and he's constantly trying to make up for that in his adult life. He's a good man: hard working, loving, loyal. He's a rescuer and because of that, he finds himself in some pretty odd situations. He was kind of seeing a woman and he developed feelings for her super quickly and she kept holding him at arm's length. He told me several times that he'd told her how he felt and that she told him she wasn't in the same place right now. Well, last night, he tried to convince me that just because she continued to spend time with him and go do stuff with him, that what she said didn't mean she didn't want a relationship. I asked him what he thought it meant. He just kept saying "she never said she didn't want a relationship, she just said she wasn't in the same place I was". Maybe this is a difference between men and women, but to me what she said to him and what he wanted her to say are the same thing. It seems like a matter of semantics to me. In my mind, in both phrases, she's telling him she doesn't want a relationship. Now, in her version, if she said it the way he says, I could see where one might argue that in saying she's not in the same place right now, that it leaves the door open for future possibility, but I really don't see how the 2 phrases are fundamentally different. In either phrase, she doesn't want a relationship right now. Maybe I'm just weird, but since I know it is possible for men and women to truly be friends because some of my closest friends are men, I could see a world where a woman who wasn't interested in a relationship but wanted to continue a friendship would continue to hang out with the guy. The sucky part of it was, while she was telling him she wasn't in the same place and she was still spending time with him and letting him spend money on her and pay her bills (don't even get me started on this part of the story!), she was actually dating someone else and when he found out and confronted her, she told him the guy was just a friend. She actually did that to him 3 different times and the man she is seeing currently is the one that finally ended my best friend's association with her. Apparently after he stopped communicating with her, she started telling anyone and everyone who would listen that he's stalking her and that he broke in her house and left flowers everywhere and all sorts of weird-a$$ sh!t. As he did with his XW, he keeps telling me he just wants to talk to her face to face one more time. I begged him to just let it go. No good would come of talking. He said the last time he talked to her he asked her what is wrong with him. Lord how I love that man and Lord how I want to punch his d@mn head off all at the same time. I told him last night that there is NOTHING wrong with him and that women like her are users and manipulators and she likely had to get away from him because while he was still paying her bills and crap, he was also wanting more of her time and attention and she needed to swap him out for someone who was less present in her life.

We also had a long talk about our relationship. I was honest and told him that I had had a bad feeling about this woman from day 1. I felt like she immediately started playing the victim card to get under his skin and it worked. They had just met and started talking and he hadn't even actually sat down and had a face to face conversation with her yet when she called him in the middle of the night to come over to her house and get up under the house to fix a pipe that had frozen and busted because she didn't have any water in her house with the frozen/busted pipe. And he did it! He is still making excuses for her. He told me that he had given her money but that she had never asked for it. I tried to explain that manipulators don't have to ask for it. They know what to say to get it without coming out and saying, "hey, can you give me x amount of money?" I said, she likely complained about being short or not having enough money to pay a certain bill or having to do without something or whatever and he jumped in to fix it. This was met with dead silence on his end of the phone. Then, finally, he said "yeah, you are right". I told him, though I saw some big red flags at the beginning, I didn't say anything because I didn't think it would get through. And, this is the point where the talk about our relationship kicked in. He said, "you are honestly the only person I WOULD have listened to". He told me I was his best friend and I know everything about him in this world and of all the people he knows, family included, he knows that I am the one who is always looking out for the greater good for him. He told me that a lot of people around him were always pushing him to pursue a relationship with me and the reason that he didn't is because he loves me and knows that I am truly his friend and he doesn't/didn't ever want to mess that up. He told me that he's happy that I have found Sparky and that he likes him and he's glad we are happy. It was a really good conversation. I felt good afterwards. And, I told him, since he said he would've listened to me, that he needs to be prepared moving forward because next time I see huge red flags waving where a woman he's interested in is concerned, I'm going to be all over him about it. He laughed and said he expected no less.

So anyway, I have rambled on here long enough and I need to go get some stuff done ahead of my afternoon meeting. Ugh...............................................I'm pretty sure meetings are going to be the actual downfall of our civilization.

Last edited by job; 08/15/19 02:22 PM. Reason: edited language

Me 49, XH 51
3 adult daughters from his first marriage
3 grandsons, 1 granddaughter
My 1st marriage, his 2nd
BD 9/29/2014
H moved out 10/6/2014
H filed D 11/4/2014
D final 12/17/2014