I understand that M not validating you and/or making an effort for quality time hurts you every time it happens, and it certainly needs to be addressed because it will likely lead to death of a million cuts..
I wanted to reply because I don't think it will be effective to address a single instance of when he failed to do so, i.e. - when I told you I was feeling overwhelmed you should have ...
Pre DB, I did not have the knowledge to understand validating or the importance of making an effort to fulfill my p love language.
All that to say that I think you should sit him down, let him know how important validating, quality time, etc is to you and give him information on what those things are. Talk about it a little and give him literature on validating (I think there is good info in a sticky in beginners, maybe there's a book) and give him a copy of the 5 love languages. I think you need to make it clear to him how important that your forever partner understand these things and make an effort to implement them.
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized