I just saw your post basho. Thanks for stopping by! The thing I really want to change this time around is how we solve problems. Or how I solve problems for that matter. I usually just shut up and let it pass and discard my own feelings. How unhealthy is that?!! Didnít work too well for me in my M. And when I came out with my feelings, my ex found someone else. But thatís not how it supposed to go. And I shouldnít worry about it now.
Iíve gotten to sleep on this. Iím obviously less angry. But I donít want to chicken out of saying something. I dodnbreak down and send him a ďhiĒ text last night. Shouldnít have done that. Should have done what job said and let him come to me. He did ask how I was, then he told me he was tired and going to bed. All I said was ďok, goodnightĒ and he came back with a ďgoodnight baby, I love you!Ē
I think I know he does have very good intentions unlike my ex. He just canít see past his own crap. He also gets so overwhelmed when he has an unplanned for task. Itís all he can see.
Dean I- When we first started dating, he was different of course . On our 4th date he offered to use his truck to help me pick up my hard wood floors. Didnít realize it was a ton! He also helped me bring it in to my new home! He helped me move. When I became overwhelmed . He spent sundays with me.. but he did stay with me during my surgery. He took the whole day putting in new outlets for my house. Heís excited to do my shed project sundays now he spends only when he has his S and we do something together . And I love doing things all together.
I needed him this week. But the things he has to fix is very important. Itís his reaction was what I didnít like.
The things is. Heís the one. There are so many good things. But I need to be able to communicate with him. And thatís on me. I need to fix this about me. But he also needs to realize the world doesnít revolve around him and his issues.
On two other notes. My daughter came home from cheer practice very upset. I actually left early to pick her up to watch too. They took her favorite position away from her. And then , once again, this happens every year, they stuck her in the back. Mind you, my daughter is the shortest. Not only did they put her in the back, they put the two talent in front of her. I go to watch at the games and you canít even see her. Iím debating if I should say something to the coaches. Itís rev cheerleading, not competition. Let her family at least be able to see her when they come watch. I validated her feelings, I let her vent and she really confided in me. I felt so bad.
And the. My ex forgot I needed him this Friday night to take D. Itís fine, I reminded him and he coan take her. I said ďthat would have stunk if you forgot and we didnít have this convoĒ he said ďwe always ask it work somehowĒ which was nice to hear. And we do. And Iím fortunate. And I know M is jealous. But I donít think he is aware of the journey to get where I am, what I have endured, or what I emotionally sacrificed to do so. He only is aware of him and his sitch.
Ugh. Today is another day. I made my bedroom awesome yesterday, doing so much organizing. Tonight my project is my extra room off the living roo . D11 puts her desk there and my dad is getting her a new one for her b day. This morning before work Iíll scrub the bathroom.
Donít think I mentioned that M kind of had something to say about my house keeping skills. That set me off too. He lives with his mommy and only has to worry about his room. I am one person doing absolutely everything with a full time job and my kid most of the time. Something has to give sometimes. The other day I was so full of love for him, these last 2 days heís really pissing me off. But donít get me wrong. Great guy, good intentions. Just comes off oblivious some of the time. And his timing isnít so hot right now.