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G...I dont think him kayaking with his buddy would be an issue if you felt secure in the R. There is some need of yours that he is not meeting which I think is the driver of all of this. Then when he doesnt validate properly makes the situation worse.
We all have baggage and try as you might to overcome how he conducts himself could very well work for someone else.
That said you have indicated before that when you bring him something he rises to the occasion so hopefully more of the same will follow.