Maybe you need to stop being so available to him when he needs help w/things. If you aren't available to help him once in a while, it might give him pause to think about his behavior. His behavior may be one of the reasons that he's divorced and having to deal w/an xw.
I might be wrong, but I do not think he's going to change, this is him and I think that if you speak to him about how you felt, it might just roll off his back because whatever he's doing, it's all about him at the moment. He's just too caught up into his world and isn't thinking about what you need at the moment.
Don't contact him for a day or so and leave him to his mess. Allow him to come to you. Time for him to realize that you are the prize and if he wants you in his life, he better start listening and validating you too.