I think I was the one that talked about settling on Andrews thread. Itís cause I have done it my whole life. IRL I am mellow and easy going and end up adapting to all sorts of crazy personalities and it carries over in my romantic relationships - where I put up with things that are either not good for me or perhaps with people Iím not compatible. Not because I need someone or canít be alone, more because I just have higher thresholds for dysfunction for some reason.

In fact, a while back when I talked about it on here someone recommended a book to me about how middle age women really hurt themselves by not settling and working through issues. And how we miss out by expecting a form of perfection that might not exist.

So on one hand, itís true. People are not perfect. Relationships are not perfect. We do have to be willing to accept flaws. On the other hand, we have to be willing to look at when something is not working and be able to walk away. Thatís just as hard for people like us too cause we are not the self serving types. But maybe need to be a bit more like that.

And I am not by any means suggesting that for ginger and M. Cause relationships are hard and require work and effort and self awareness. And because ginger has very deep chemistry and feelings for M. (That I didnít have with the guys I was settling for). Ginger, have you had the time to talk to a counselor? Would it be something he would be willing to try in the future?


M: 42
H: 43
Twins age 5
WAH in summer