Thanks for the thoughts, Andrew. My XH and I also did something similar. We would each take out X amount of cash at the beginning of the week for incidentals. At first my XH was reticent to do that, as with his first XW, she kept track of all the money and she would "give" him cash each week and he felt like it was an allowance and he didn't want that, but as I pointed out to him, if we were both going and taking the cash independently of each other, but putting it in our budget, then it was simply making a withdrawal from our joint account, not either of us giving the other an allowance. He and I also tried that sitting down to budget thing, but because he was like an ADHD kid hopped up on sugar when it came to buying things, he was hard to budget plan with.

Sparky and I have already talked about it and we do actually plan to do similar to what you and your XW did. We are going to sit down Saturday and look at what our income is and what our expenses are and put a budget on paper. We want to do that before we do any account swapping, just to be sure we are on the same page and that we are aware of each other's current financial situation/debt load. Neither of us have much debt outside of current living expenses and some credit card debt, but we both think that with a plan, we can get it paid down pretty quickly.

We will likely adopt a similar method that you and your XW had as I think both of us have the right personalities and "needs" to make that work for us, where my XH was kind of weird about money.

Me 50, H52
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
4 grandkids (plus 2 on the way)