So far so good. I make a little more money than Sparky does, but we have agreed that while daily expenses like skoal for him or the occasional kitchen towel or smelly good something or other for our house are fine expenditures to make without checking, big purchases should definitely be cleared with the other first. My XH and I did our budgeting that way and it actually worked pretty well. Sparky is fine with letting me "handle" the checkbook as far as keeping it balanced and such because I'm kind of a control freak about that and he doesn't like to do it, but we'll pay bills together. We are going to sit down this weekend and go over a budget and then within the next few weeks, we are going to add him to my existing account.
What my ex-wife and I did and it worked very well for us was to every week withdraw a certain amount of cash - I think it was $50 each for us to do with what we wished. This started when we were first married as we made significantly different amounts of money although we made equal contributions to the family. Anything beyond that we would (usually) talk over first unless it was a planned expense like groceries.
Like you I'm a bit of a control freak and after my ex - who worked as a book-keeper - was doing our books and we nearly went bankrupt I took them over. We used an app called YNAB (we never upgraded to the cloud version) that allowed both of us to see on our devices or the computer what was budgeted and what we spent / had available. This helped because my ex wouldn't enter in her receipts on the computer but being able to do it on her IPad worked.
What we would also do is on the last weekend of the month is that I would review any planned expenses doing up a draft budget. Then on Sunday we would go out for breakfast, review how we did the past month, go over the upcoming month comparing it to the prior year. This worked well for us and we managed to go from pretty much bankrupt to being rid of all consumer debt and having the mortgage paid down quite a bit along with 2 new(ish) cars right around the time her affair started
Some variation of this might work for you guys - just putting it out there on what worked here.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells