Glad you and M had a nice evening. It is obvious that he does care for you very much. He is just wired differently from you. I found it interesting, on Andrew's recent threads, that someone (may have even been you, don't remember) mentioned settling. They pointed out that Andrew had kind of been making "excuses" for B for sometime (she's not as well read, but; she's unorganized, but; etc). When I read that, I actually thought of you and M too. I know y'all care for each other, love each other, have a good thing going and I'm not suggesting that there is anything wrong. I just want you to not settle. You deserve the best and I hope M is giving you what you need. He does seem like a really good guy and he obviously has a future in mind with you if he's telling his son about "bonus mom". That's a GREAT sign.

Try to relax and focus on having some you time. D11 is getting to that age where she will be more interested in hanging with her friends than hanging with you anyway, so use some of that time for yourself. You definitely deserve it. And stop feeling guilty. I know that is easier said than done, but you are a grown woman who works hard and takes care of a house, a pre-teen and a "toddler" dog. It's ok to want and need a break from that occasionally so give yourself permission to have quality time for yourself without guilt. It really is ok.

As far as the cleaning service, I agree with everyone else. Go for it! Please don't be like my mother though. When I was growing up and she worked full time, she hired a cleaning lady, but then my mom would clean the house before the cleaning lady showed up EVERY. D@MN. TIME. because she didn't want the lady to think less of her. HUH? LOL Don't do that!


Me 49, XH 51
3 adult daughters from his first marriage
3 grandsons, 1 granddaughter
My 1st marriage, his 2nd
BD 9/29/2014
H moved out 10/6/2014
H filed D 11/4/2014
D final 12/17/2014