Remember too the best revenge is living well. I moved to a lower cost suburb but have a nicer house than my ex as a result, for 1/3 the cost. I learned to play the drums and vibraphone and have had an amateur music career (but sometimes playing with pros!) that I'm sure drives my ex crazy (because he always fancied himself the musician in the family, with his 10 Neil Young songs that he learned to strum on the guitar in college.) I've achieved professional recognition in my field. I'm arguably healthier than my ex now as we age. I think I look younger (even though he's 4 years younger than me). The kids all love me and have fraught relationships with him (or in the case of one son, no relationship). I'm happier than he is too (always was).