thanks for your input. I decided not to speak to her last night and have decided i won't be doing family things with her. My girls are my family now and she chose to walk away to her OM. I dont see why she should get to pick and chose what "family" stuff she wants to do. Birthday parties are a bit different, and i will attend these.. Things like "family" time at the park dont fit well with my mindset. She made her bed, and i always remember her saying "oh the girls will be fine once we seperate" - maybe reality as hit, that these things do impact on children.
The ironic thing is all this is she has done excatly what her father did to her family when she was 3, right down to moving the OW into the house weeks after he moved away from her mum. It has always affected her and her first memories are of the day her dad walked out on her mum and her mum was crying and begging him to stay. She always reflects back on how she cried on the stairs and its the earliest memory she had.. So says " the girls will be fine" just shows what she forgets / choses to ignore.
Originally Posted by curtis7
I would have a hard time encountering OM, you may not blame him; however he is a party to tearing apart a family. No decent human being encroaches on that. I would be furious if WW left my kids with OM.
I think this varies on each person and situation.
In my case, there are a few things which make me think he is just a pawn in this.
Since she went WW she only spoke lies - like most WWs. Not just to me, to everybody she knew.. Self preservation is key. I know she lied to her mum about what the MC said and messages to OM1 and OM2. I know she lied to all her friends. I know from texts that they exchanged that she lied continually to the OM3 when they started messaging.
When we came to sign the seperation agreement, she refused based on the date we seperated ( 8th December 2018 ) - she point blank refused and demanded i change this to the end of October. She was messageing OM2 in October and met / exchanged numbers with OM3 ( with now ) in early November 2018 - His wife had died on the 31st October 2018 and they were messaging 2 weeks later ! I suspect he was in a bad place, and she probably told him she was single. I cant think of any other reason why she would demand to change the seperation document date ( ie in case he managed to see it and thought, hmmm... she told me she was single in November )
I also know she was messaging him through December slating me etc, but at the same time cake eating and telling me how we need to make it work.
I think her personality also has a lot to do with it.
Like i mentioned on my initial post, before our 3rd and final trip to the MC, the MC called me to dicuss a few things / get and update and mentioned that my WW showed cluster B disorder traits. i started to look into it and i'm sure she has either vunerable narsasism or Borderline PD.
How he is feeling now, is how she made me feel 8 years ago. Again, if you read my inital post (i hadn't read up on BPD at that point i dont think ) i mentioned how we fell in love very quickly. I have also mentioned in another post how i ignored red flags.. I was totally love bombed, and it was totally out of character for me! - She did my gym induction when i joined a new Gym and by the time i'd got to work 20 mins later, she had friend requested me on facebook.. I asked her put a few days later and WW messaged me hundreds of times over the following weeks / months.. She showered me with attention, amazing porn sex and love - and gave me a key to her house less than 2 weeks after meeting her. I stayed in my own house approx 5 times before i rented it out 6 months later from the day i got a key to WWs. 3 - 4 months after out first date i got "i need to tell you something.. the pill failed... i'm pregnant"
Even as i read what i had wrote, i cringe.. It isnt me and the "me" from 8 years ago was a very confident, sensible and rational "Alpha" bloke. I had morals and values, yet ignored bright red flags..
I have kind of gone track on my reply, but the principle is the same... I know how this OM3 must be feeling. His wife has just died and he now has a fit and attractive lady with big fake boobs giving him porn star sex and telling him how amazing he is. At this point he probably believes every lie she told him, and has no idea of the lies.. So i cant blame him for being blinded by her - As i was as well.
Previous username - Helpme123.. A name chosen at a desperate time..
Now Mr Brightside.. coming out of my cage, and doing just fine.