Originally Posted by helpme12
WW is still with OM, and this has affected my children. I donít ask any questions, but he is there a lot, and I gather she ignores them when he is.

Eldest then chipped in said she hates it when he is there.. I was literally dropping them off at this point and didnít know what to say / how to respond.. So said nothing. I donít mention their mum / him to my girls and never ask about homelife, but it is interesting how much children pick up on and process.. Not mentioned to the WW as there is no point.. She would turn it on me.

Met the OM for the first time the other day.. Again, I donít blame this guy for this Sitch, so left them to it. Also found out that the WW went out on Saturday for a girls night and left OM to babysit the youngest for the night.

My 5 year old is fine once she is out with us, and enjoys herself - but has no enthusiasm to go anywhere a lot of the time, as she just wants to ďwatch TVĒ.. This is a serious problem in my opinion, but thatís all she does at her mums house.. So Iím trying to figure out how to handle this. It also frustrates the other 2 as they just want to go out for the day and they love coming to dads and doing things as a change from ďthe TVĒ which they get at their mums.

...the girls will have quality time with me and not ďme and my partner while I ignore themĒ and I wonít spend my time with them glued to the phone, when with them.. Even if I meet somebody eventually, kids come first. I wont make that mistake again, and I wont date a lady who ignores her own children to spend time with me.

Help,

Thanks for posting an update. You are being a great father to your girls and they will remember these rough times in their life forever. You were the strong parent that gave them the attention and support they needed. You certainly have your priorities in order.

My kids are being affected by WW and OM too, although she doesnít bring him around when they are with her, she has a tendency to neglect the kids, puts them in front of the TV all night and is glued to her phone with OM. Kids are intuitive and they feel it. I would have a hard time encountering OM, you may not blame him; however he is a party to tearing apart a family. No decent human being encroaches on that. I would be furious if WW left my kids with OM.

I tried to highlight the impact to my WW once on the texting around the kids, she just lashed back. It is counter productive to try to get them to see the error of their ways in their selfish state of mind and inability to appreciate rational thought.

My D4 also only wants to watch TV, all she knows from being with W. I attempt to combat this by getting her to play games with S8 and I, setting up artwork projects, taking them to the park, or going in the pool. Itís helped curtail TV time, but still a work in progress. Kids love it at my place, so much more to do and a ton more attention from the parent. They may eventually rebel on going to Wís house.

I completely agree with your views on the importance of kids with your next partner. Monitor that closely to ensure your values align. I also am not a fan of phone addictions, so that is a big red flag for me.

Wishing you the best!


Me:41 W:39 S:9 D:6 T:20 M:16
PA:8/22/18, BD:11/6/18
PA discovery & IHS:12/3/18, W moves:4/2/19
Ríville:9/27/19, I give D docs:3/1/20
W home:4/5/20 (due to CV-19), W NC w/OM:4/13/20 6/1/20