So in her mind we need to show the kids how we like each other and we are still friends. Her suggestion is that we start doing things as a family together !!!!! (yes WTF !!! ) - An example she gave was "lets all go the park together this weekend".. The girls will then see that we are friends and they will be happier.
First I will say that my XW and I continued to do things with the kids to make things easier on them. We kept doing joint birthday parties, and Christmases. We still do in fact. So I get where she is coming from, and it's not a bad idea -IF- both of you are comfortable with it. But it doesn't sound like you are, so I wouldn't force it.
I shot this down and point blank refused. Kept the conversation short and just said i didnt want to speak to her full stop - and at the park, and the girls would see this so it would solve nothing - and even if she came the park, i wouldnt be near her anyway, as when at the park i would be interacting with the girls... Not playing happy families with her . She didnt want to accept this and says its what we should do - and she will call me tonight and discuss further.
When she calls then tell her it's not an option, but that you think the kids should get some counseling. This really isn't something you can force. If you can't stand being around her then as you say, the kids are going to sense that if you try to force it and the whole thing will do more harm than good.
I am clear in my mind about this.. I dont want to spend 10 seconds in her company, let alone a park trip.. BUT just mentioned to a person at work who says i need to think about my girls and do this for them.. Let them see mummy and daddy happy together etc.. This really doesnt sit well with me, as i think it will be all fake.
Follow your heart on this. If you feel it won't work then I can almost guarantee that it won't.
Me: 59 w/ S17, D23, D26 Current R: 4 years Previous M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:56