To be clear, she filed for D 5 months ago.

She wants to wait a couple of years to ensure the kids adjust and she is financially on her feet before finalizing the D.

I'm not willing to wait 2 years under her thumb legally. I want to be able to move forward, buy a house, find my rhythm, know my financial situation, and want to be able to say yes if someone comes into my life that I want to date without feeling morally wrong. Basically I want the certainty that comes with a finalized document.

If we get divorced and then reconnect, its a waste financially but its better than sitting here under her control. She wants to live her life and wants all the benefits of me except for the me part. She doesn't work, lives in a nice house overlooking the water, has 2 nice vehicles, a nice piece of property, a monthly income of nearly $8000 from rentals and support, can sleep with whomever she wants, and can basically just hang out living the good life for as long as she wants. I live in a crappy rental, parking on the street, scraping by while I pay off debt from legal fees thus far(I still owe $1500 for hers too), and she is living the good life with no real change to her situation except for me not living there anymore.

If I ask for an extra day with the kids, she says that she isn't comfortable with me seeing them more because its not safe for them to spend more time with me. Then the next email says she wants me to have more time with them and I should just ask. That I don't spend enough time with them and its detrimental to them. Rinse and repeat. CRAZY!

Yesterdays text message scolded me for not honoring her on Mothers Day with gifts. I sent her a nice text that wished her a happy mothers day with the kids. I don't feel like getting her gifts is something I should be doing to earn respect. I suspected this would happen based on her comments about getting me something for fathers day, that she was really hinting that I needed to get her something for mothers day. I spent mothers day with my mom for the first time in 12 years. It was always expected that I spend it with W and her mom.


Me40; W38; S12; D9
BD11/19/2018 D filed 12/20/18
D Final 7/2020
Being the best example I know how for my kids to see.