Nice to be vindicated, isn't it? It's taken a while for me to see my ex's issues clearly, and a bit longer for others to see it, but it all came out in the wash eventually. I take the approach now that my ex probably wouldn't have had nearly as long and successful a first marriage if he had married someone else originally. I'm thankful for my kids' sake that he's in what appears to be a stable marriage with his second wife, so they don't have to deal with drama there. I try to help my kids deal with him while not denying their experience of him in the process.
As for recently separated lady at the wedding - I wouldn't go near her until you learn some of the story as to why her marriage broke up. Ask around.