Sometimes I with there was a AnotherStander a Ready2Change, a Steve85, LH19, Ihcacls etc (and more, sorry I forget) wired in my head especially at night when I get the most anxious..
LOL! The only difference between you and the "vets" is time. You'll get there. Believe me I spent a lot of sleepless nights myself after BD, tossing around all lost and confused, mind racing a thousand miles an hour. I think more than anything I come here just so you and others know you WILL be OK, and even awesome :-) I was as low and lost and despondent as anyone here, and I don't have any special superpowers that got me to where I am now. If I can do it then anyone can do it, I really do believe that.
Me: 58 w/ S16, D22, D25 Current R: 4 years Previous M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:56