Well I think I really [censored] up. Last night she left her phone downstairs which she never does (she is in a upstairs) bedroom and I snooped. I turned the phone on and had saw her swipe her code in earlier in the day.

Earlier in the day we also ran into a coworker of hers (her boss) and chatted a bit at the store.
Backstory (A couple of weeks ago her phone chimed and it was face up as I walked by it and it said signal message. I asked her what Signal was and she told me it was a message app her and her coworkers use to fly under the radar on company phone bc it auto deletes messages after a set time.)

So at 2am I turned her phone on and went into Signal and a message was sent to her from him moments after we parted ways in the store saying(T'was a little awkward). And that was the only one bc the others timed out. So I went into her normal messenger and everything before Nov 30 is deleted. There was a couple of other weird texts. Her telling him Signal, FYI or Choppy is "sick" today. And something to the affect of 1/2 day for the kids on Friday and the other response "ugg" . His wife is a para-professional and would be home around lunch. We all live within 5 minutes of each other, work and school.

So when she turned on her phone this morning messages, facebook and other texts popped up as coming in at 2am. She asked me if I had turned her phone on and I said yes and then asked her why this guy would send "awkward" to her moments after us parting ways.

She rambled off some i don't knows and maybe this and that. They also attended a conference together with other workers in Nov. and travel together for a day a month for meetings.

We both walked away and went to work with me shaking my head, wondering.


Thoughts? DB squashed bc I broke trust or did I finally get to the bottom of why it is just a plain no go from her working on the marriage?


Me. 46
Her 37

Years together 10
Married 7.5

Kids 4 and 6