Originally Posted by Choppy
still haven't been served papers after it was brought up by her over a month ago.


That's pretty common. If you remove the pressure then often they won't pursue D even though they may have threatened it very recently.

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Thoughts on moving out and buying it?


I wouldn't make any big purchases right now, not until you see where things are going. Stay put. Like Grace said, the decision to stay or go should be your W's, don't make it for her. WAS's feel like their LBS has controlled and manipulated them so part of DB'ing is pulling back and giving them space and allowing them to make their own decisions. If you buy a place and move out then that may look like "more of the same" behavior to her.

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Mort Fertel says stay put and if someone wants space the one who wants space should be the one to move out.


We highly recommend you don't mix-and-match approaches. Follow Michele's books and the DB'ing approach or follow someone else's, but don't try to blend them as it usually just causes you a lot of confusion. In this case his comment is consistent with DB'ing.


Me: 58 w/ S16, D22, D25
Current R: 4 years
Previous M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:56