I'd say: "Can you take S8 and D4 over there with you? I have some things I need to do out tonight. I'll be glad to swing by later and pick them back up."
Yeah, my kids and the BFF’s kids regularly play together. Do you really think this will help? I’m sure she’ll come up with some excuse why she won’t want to take them. What would the goal be in this situation?
The goal would be to see how she handles this "wrinkle" in her lie. If she is going to babysit there would be NO reason for her to not take the kids with her. It is not an unreasonable request. What it might do is make her realize that a) her lies are not that great and b) you aren't as dumb as she thinks you are.
curtis, I know I've been telling you not to confront, just to worry about you. And in general I still feel that way. But something that hit me catching up on your situation was something I read from another anti-D author. A woman she was consulting with that was cheating on her husband during their separation couldn't believe how DUMB her H was for not knowing she was cheating. Remember, the key to getting your W back is to attract her back. You have to become more attractive than OM, or leaving. The key to that is to COMMAND respect. Do you think she respects you if she has the perspective of the woman I mentioned above?
So while my advice isn't strictly DBing according to the rules, it is time you start calling her on some of her bluffs. When my W was a WW, one of the things she used to do was drop my daugher off at school, on days I was home, and then sit in the parking lot for, sometimes, hours. Sexting. Texting OM. Etc.
One day, after a 2 hour trip to drop my D off at school, which should have taken 15 minutes, I said, "What were you doing?!?" She was like: "Oh, well, and started to give all kinds of excuses as to why she was gone so long. I looked her dead in the eye and said: "You know, I am not stupid." That's all I said. She brought that moment up several times in the days and weeks that followed. She knew I knew more than she originally thought I did.
curtis, maybe my suggestion isn't the right approach. I think I am just having a moment of empathizing with you because I remember when I was there. And that I wanted to do something to let her know I wasn't that dumb.
Last edited by Steve85; 03/18/1904:18 PM.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
