Man that was painful to read I am so sorry for you man.
I think you need to start off with the realization that pursuit and relationship talks don't work and make matters worse.
I also want you to know that this is going to take a really long time to completely play out (months most likely years) and you are not looking to rekindle a spark right now. You are in damage control right now. When I say that I mean that you can't make matters better right now but you can certainly make them worse.
