Choppy, when you get a chance can you give us more details, and background. As you know, Mort is fond of saying, "You can't fix in days and weeks what it took you months and years to get into." So what were the dynamics over the years that led you to this point?

I too did a combination of Mort's program and DBing. I think that Mort offers a lot of good insight into the mind of the "obstinate spouse", or what we would call the WAS. I also think he makes good points about not laser focusing on the problems in the marriage. What I think you have to be careful with that program is pressure and pursuit. And a lot of what he suggests is pressure and pursuit. Date night? Right after BD the last thing my W wanted was to go out on a date with me! Talk and touch charges are great, but not right away. You have to give the WAS time and space first. There comes a time when you can do those.

But he does have a lot of good advice, and a lot of good insight. I am happy to have found his program.

But Divorce Remedy is where it is at! DBing is the best approach because it focuses on you, not her. That should be your number one mantra.....focus on me....not her.

Also, you need to 180 on any poor behavior that contributed to your current sitch. You need to get out and GAL like a madman. And you need to detach. And work hard on that detachment, and get better at it over time.


M(50), W(51),D(15)
M-20, T-22 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018