Originally Posted by DonH
interesting how one little thing can cause someone to walk away and never look back when it happens before or after a first date - and the quick walk away and never look back is supported by many. Any number of little things can have someone move on and try the next person. Yet, after even a few months, people are much more willing to overlook or at least give a chance to those very same behaviors that would have had them out the door previously. Again, just a very interesting aspect of human nature.
Just because it is called the sunk costs fallacy doesn't mean that it isn't a very real thing. Heck it even got me to the point where after nearly 3 decades I was willing to overlook a serious affair which in the first 3 or 4 would not have been accepted.

Just to ramble a bit on the subject as well - we are as humans I believe creatures of habit. We get used to things. The boiling frog analogy perhaps also applies if you want to look at it cynically.

I have 2 cats. They would wake me up in the middle of the night and it would take some attention and comfort from me to satisfy them and then we would all have a quiet night. Then it ramped up. And eventually I decided that I'd had enough. So now - after the first session of meowing and banging on my bedroom door, they get evicted - gently - to the kitchen. But I accepted that "unacceptable" behaviour for close to a year before the frequency exceeded my frog boiling temperature.

We also as people I think hold on to the idea of "potential". It's what keeps lottery players buying their tickets. Heck - and you'll be pleased with this Don - it's what kept me on the shelf for CL for months while I waited for her to sort her own crap out. There was a lot of potential there. But potential unrealized is just so much fairy dust that fades with the dawn.

One of my favourite aphorisms is that "everyone's fondest wish is for tomorrow to be like yesterday". And that keeps us stuck waiting for a future past that is past rather than building and growing towards an actual future. Real futures require letting go of the past. Taking risks. Venturing the unknown and the uncomfortable. It's hard. It's easy to say - "I'll never find someone who fits boxes X, Y or Z" or to discount people who cross our paths because those boxes aren't ticked. But as I often say when I give presentations - it is important for us to imagine the possible.

Well - enough philosophy for this evening. I'm curious to see what flowers from these seeds though. Perhaps nothing. But I have some seeds from a habanero pepper gifted to me by a friend from Trinidad that didn't sprout this winter that I'm going to try again in the spring.


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