Um Rex, what the Hel....? I always appreciate everyone's input but dude, why are you taking things I wrote well over two weeks ago - cherry picking sentences and stringing them together as if I said it like that? It's like CNN and Fake News has come to the forum? This gets confusing enough but I in no way said the things in the context you are "quoting" me. The Deal breaker sentence was lifted from the start of a paragraph and then jumped to many paragraphs later. Then posts from weeks later are interspersed. I'm not going to rehash all of this again but what I was doing in at least the first post you pulled from was trying to explain the conversation Wild Girl and I finally had - overdue for a few months. She was gas lighting or at least re-writing history and I was not going to let her get away with it. As for walking away... Um we were on day 2 of an 11 day vacation. Did you want me to throw her out of the cabin, put her on a plane home, throw her overboard? The answer to every conflict is not to walk away and never look back. Sometimes a discussion is a good thing and was not at all feeding drama. As to the deal breaker, what I was referring to (smoking) was not even part of the quotes. Why am I seeing her again? - because I have some of her clothes, because we are still friends, because I've known her aunt for 25 years, heck my parents just spent two days with her, I know her parents, I will see them all again, I know I'll run into her again, my friends have now gotten to know her. I don't hate her, we can talk and still not be in an R. Finally, my best choice comment was not "best choice" for an R or partner - she was the best choice at the time to go on the cruise - and I stand by that.
Beyond all of that, I'm not going to rehash this all over again. At this point many here could explain as well as I why much of this happened with regards to this cruise - much of it, including the cost, being out of my control. Remember, after about August 25th tickets were done and things were committed. Life didn't stand still however.
As for my future travel, why on earth do I want to add yet more out of state women to the list. I've met more than enough and have them all over the place - Pittsburgh, Ohio, Michigan, Illinois, Arkansas (now Florida), St. Louis. I'm not looking to hook up with yet another one on vacation in Florida. I'd much rather take someone that I can see again after the vacation ends. I've done a great deal of travel on my own and do it well. I can do more. I just don't want to. I'd rather take some with me - like I did on the cruise.
Your last statement I tend to agree with more but would add the parents are more stable and established than their kids. Most are still married and have been for 40, 50 or more years. Their daughters are more struggling and have a history of picking the wrong guys. I'm sure that's why Wild Girls mother was so thrilled her and I were dating.
KML, I'm sure you know it wasn't about the dishes. CMM is just very upset with his life or with other things and that's where it came out. I'm guilty of doing that myself. I'm sure that's part of what my friends were getting at last weekend when they said I was a lot more fun with WG around. I got the same last summer. I'm making a conscious effort to not be so negative. It's just hard when I'm not satisfied and fully happy with all aspects of my life. On top of it, I've often focused on improving things. I'm never satisfied (in business) with 90% success - I want to focus on that remaining 10% that needs to be improved. I'm the same with my life. If I look objectively, I'm extremely lucky at where I am. I have great health, great family and friends, I'm financially set, don't usually have to set my alarm clock, have accomplished huge amounts of things... yet it's that remaining 10% that I seem to be focused on lately - and letting drag me down.
As has happened before, the Valentine"d Day things sort of snuck up on me. I really didn't care much or give it a thought. It's not like I had anyone worthy of getting anything from me. But then friends, who I'm guessing were feeling worse than me, kept bringing things up until I was bummed too right along with them. I think it's your expectations that made it worse - you had it all set in your head what you hoped it would be and when it didn't happen, you were disappointed.
I have to ask an even harder question than Andrew did... if he wasn't Stage IIIb would you have left by now or moved on by now? It must be the worst situation to be in because how could this not be on your mind? I know it would be on mine. But that still doesn't mean you can't bring it up to him and I think you should! I think you should tell him that you had high expectations for a really nice VD and his behavior really killed it. I'd let him know. If he doesn't he doesn't have the opportunity to change. You may even hint that this is not what you signed up for and if it continues you will struggle to keep going with it. That would be far better than letting it continue, get worse and get you to the point that you can't handle it anymore.
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D