Yeah, I guess I can only say that my disposition was driven by the trauma brought on by decisions/actions that I couldn't understand. I mean I could accept my W wanted to leave, but never having the WHY. I think that's behind what threw me so far into the "I'm not playing" anymore mindset. Best I can say is that my mindset was blown away by my heart's emotional reaction to Miss Sunshine's arrival. Spiritually inclined you could say that God decided to show me rather clearly that he was in control of my life and could 180 my resistance effortlessly. She just showed up in my life and there was no way I could resist. That it happened when I had ZERO thought that it might...the chapters in our lives open and close sometimes very subtly and other times with a suddenness that's really amazing.
Thank you Wlf for your kind support and prayers throughout my sitch. I wish for you that you can find true peace, love and happiness in your sitch as well.