Originally Posted by ovrrnbw
And hopefully you learned how much of that "being down" was just in your head!

This is so much of it right here. We get in this rut where we think if our W doesn't want or like us then no one does, and we sink into a hole and think that's it, we're done, life is over, we'll just scrape along and survive until the end comes knocking. It takes a wake-up call like B just had to realize that this whole mess is more about our spouse than it is us. True loving, caring, nurturing, sensitive gentlemen like us are a dying breed and in high demand! Once you realize that then you see the world in a different way. You see your W as the big loser in this, she's throwing away the best man she could ever hope for and all for what, a fling with some second-rate loser. Well she's welcome to it because there's plenty more for us out there. Let her affair down, we'll go the upgrade route grin Of course we are all about saving marriages here, but some of them aren't going to be saved no matter what, so it's good to know you're going to have some very attractive options if your M doesn't make it.

Me: 59 w/ S17, D23, D26
Current R: 4 years
Previous M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:56