Found this site last night and found the article on Biased observations very interesting..

I have been with my "ex" for 8 years.. And like i put in my original post, there were a couple of Red flags, going back to the very beginning of our relationship ( deleting messages off her ex boss ) . Then there were the deleted messages from the ex boyfriend 3 years in.. Did i ever feel threatened about the ex boyfriend messaging her.. No.. Because he worked away for months at a time and i think my ex knew he was being flirty, only after one thing and was never going to risk everything for him.. She deleted the messages, and played it down whenever he messaged... But i overlooked this as a risk to my relationship.. After all, he was just trying his luck... It was me she loved.
But lookiing back, maybe i misjudged my ex partners character. I have never deleted a message off another woman ( or anyone ) - becuase i have never needed to hide anything from her..

So the biased observation part on the link is very interesting..

Previous username - Helpme123.. A name chosen at a desperate time..

Now Mr Brightside.. coming out of my cage, and doing just fine.