Thats a really good point Accuray..

We have had big rows this morning ( she noticed a had taken a picture of me and her down and got annoyed ) - Hence it ended in a full blown row about her disapearing on Monday night etc. Basically i went against all the advise ive read.

That said, after Monday night ( she is still lying saying she was at her friends ) i no longer want her back anyway. I cant prove anything physical happened, but i know she called him as soon as she left the house, i know she changed her knickers that evening and i know her car was parked up in a location where she would never normally leave a car.
That was always my point of no return. Even after the months of lies and deceit, i would have always tried to reconsile, but Monday crossed the line..

That said, i have go to live with this "stranger" now for another 3 months.. So i think the "friendly coworker" is probably the best way to go... just for our sanity / the children... So many thanks