I have a four year old daughter too! I feel the exact same way you do. Loving family more than anything and then being tossed away like trash, not to mention the irreplaceable loss for the children that we'd do anything to avoid. I'll never regret trying to save my marriage because it meant everything to me. I'm sure you feel the same way. I'll try to read through your thread more to see if I can offer any clarity on why things happened the way. I've been going through this for years. It's the worst pain anyone can imagine.