HM- have you read DR yet? Please read it, it'll help you navigate these situations. Right now your W is two feet out the door. It's pointless to talk to her about anything other than the weather because she will lie, accuse, deny and get irate. If she pushes for an R talk then you do two things- listen and validate. That's it! Easy peasy, right? LOL! Yeah it's not easy, you're going to be very tempted to explain/ justify/ reason/ negotiate/ argue/ clarify. DON'T DO IT. She's on a journey (which may eventually circle back to you), the best way you can help her along that journey is to get out of the way. Anything and everything you do is akin to stepping in front of her and blocking her from that journey. That will just make her angry and frustrated. So get out of the way. Give her time and space, remove all pressure. Forget about being a great husband right now, she doesn't want that. Just be a great father.
Me: 59 w/ S17, D23, D26 Current R: 4 years Previous M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:56