Hi all...just a vent/journal...feeling sad today. D went back to W yesterday. The contrast between a house where you hear "Daddy" a million times to none...the silence can be deafening and it just [censored] the life out of the place.

That's pretty much it. Oh and last night was looking at old pictures. I sure did pick a pretty one no doubt about it. People say to hold tight to those happy memories because as your wayward may constantly rewrite history on you, those serve as proof that the relationship was not always nor nearly as bad as they make it out to be. Beyond the whole "trying again", I honestly wonder if I'd be able to hit the jackpot in the looks department with another lady. I get that looks are not the only thing and Lord knows I'm learning that now, but...can lightning strike twice? I dunno.

My IC knows she has a fight on her hands with me about trying again. Perhaps strangely I'm not depressed about it nor coming at it from an emotional angle. Maybe I'm just trying to protect myself, but my mind has been working constantly, ingesting huge amounts of infidelity, failed relationships, men being clueless like a computer running through all of the possible play combinations to "checkmate" and prevent myself from giving any other lady another shot at my heart.

That said only reason for my sadness, I just miss my D. Always get this way when she's gone.

My best to you all.

-B


Me:34 W:40
D1:4
M:7 T:8
BD:3/18
D Final: 6/19