Thanks for the replies..

All makes sense.. Its hard though.. Tough love i suppose..

To be honest, i no longer recognise her.. On one hand i feel sympathy and pity - on the other i am fuming as i as soo sick of the "online" time she is spending on whatapp when she is at home with the kids. She never used to be like this, but since this has kicked off, she feels the need to spend her day on her phone talking to these 2 blokes and her mates: going on about how tough a time she is having and how bad her home life is... Its not worth the row, but i really just want to tell her - "WAKE UP.... You have 3 beautiful girls to cherish, yet your focus is complaining about this to whoever will listen.. "

At least i read this forum / reply / write these messages when at work or when the children are in bed... She will happily spend ages online without a thought. She claimed she had a headache yesterday afternoon and went upstairs - I couldnt be bothered to check too much, as it was kid time.. But every time i did check her status, she was online.. I had great fun with the girls while she sat on the bed messaging people for 45 minutes. And becuase she is so paranoid about her phone, she hides it upstairs... So every 10 minutes or so she "bobs" upstairs for 5 minutes ( obviosuly to check / reply ) , back down, 10 mins later, upstairs again...

Such a shame that something can change a person so much - not that she would ever admit it or see it.

But its things like this that make the detachment easy.... as its not the person i want to be with or loved.

Like my mate said last night, he stopped recognising his Ex wife once she went wayward. - lies, rewritten past etc. And when the fog lifted, she went the other way - as in desperate to reconcile.. she used to park outside of his house and ask where he was if his car wasnt there at midnight... It got so bad he changed his phone and blocked her on facebook...Used to feel sorry for him at the time - never thoght id be here lol.

But onward and upward smile

I have the majority of the stuff i need to sort the house sale out now, so will start that ball rolling tonight, if she is in a rational frame of mind.. That said, i dont expect much progress frown

thanks again.

Previous username - Helpme123.. A name chosen at a desperate time..

Now Mr Brightside.. coming out of my cage, and doing just fine.