Are y'all married? How old are you two?

I'm always wary to hear a married gal got a boob job. Usually doesn't end up well.

You having a tough 2 month period of work doesn't make you a bad partner. Marriage is a sacrifice, give and take.

You may have neglected her happiness, but that doesn't justify an affair.

Originally Posted by helpme12
She agreed to stop messaging the guy and move on.
That's the second time/man she's done that on in the last year. Not good.

Originally Posted by helpme12
When I said I was going to message this guy and ask him to back off
It's her you should be mad at. The OM (other man) is always going to be there, there are hundreds of men willing to help a married gal cheat. So while the guy is a POS, it's your W that is enabling him to be a part of her life.

Originally Posted by helpme12
We tried counselling again, but it actually made it worse as the councillor put a lot of emphasis on how many relationships she had seen destroyed by "nice guys" messaging people on social media etc, just saying they were mates, but it escalating - all because they wanted one thing. My partner was adamant his guy was just "a mate" and She called my partner nave and set "boundaries" - ie don't delete messages and cease making conversation and reduce time on the phone in the evening.
Your counselor was/is right. Your W is full of crap. Counseling didn't make it worse, your W did. Her reaction after leaving counseling shows she is rebelling against you and the marriage (if you're married). Strap in tight man, this is probably going to get crazy.

She's making up lies and excuses. The best thing you did was telling her what you won't put up with. You won't be with her while she flirts with every dude in town. Chances are things have made it past flirting too. There's just red flags everywhere. This is a classic WW.

H 34
W 29
BD 3/12/18
Divorce Busted Spring 19

It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.