Sorry you're feeling down ballast, the holidays are hard.
Originally Posted by ballast
Present time is full of D's crying, missing one parent as handed off to the other, back and forth, always missing one parent and/or the family she once knew. THAT pain is present time and will persist for the rest of her/our life.
I've got three kids -- they are now 20, 18, and 14. They don't always miss one parent or the family they once knew, and they certainly don't cry when they go back and forth. That pain will not persist for the rest of her life or yours. In fact, they are very happy, healthy and well adjusted.
Kids are emotional sponges. If you're feeling down, they're going to pick up on it, even if you're doing your best to hide it. If there is strife between their parents, they're going to feel it and be impacted by it, that's for sure.
I've been divorced for over 4.5 years, with over 7.5 years since BD. At BD, my youngest was only 6 years old, first grade. She's now spent more of her life with us divorced than she did with us married and she's perfectly fine.
If you lead the life you want to lead, and find your way to happiness, it will carry over to your daughter. If you're happy and confident and unimpacted by handovers, eventually she will be too. Time heals all wounds ballast, both of you will be fine.
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015