my wife CHOSE THIS so from her decision our marriage ends. I can beat myself up 24/7/365 but it will not change a single d**n thing. so kick, scream, yell, cry, do whatever but you will finally reach a point of acceptance because the only one being held back until you do, is you...and that means, you let your WW win and ain't no WW deserving of that. my guess for why you are still in an anger phase is that you are more deeply rooted in your faith that divorce is unacceptable. for me while I believe divorce is unacceptable I am more willing to accept God saying to me "hey B, yeah I know I said I don't like divorce, but look I'm teaching you things you need to know to be a better man, spouse and even Christian so look I have future plans for you, it's ok to let this one go, just trust me".
My sitch is different, and we’re not even to S (yet), but I’ve thought about this.
Are there things that I could have / should have done different? Yeah sure. But the same is true for all of us, W included.
As a Catholic I do find divorce unacceptable (except for something extreme, and an affair would qualify as that), and she and I talked about that in the abstract at numerous points, and we are both in agreement that this is definitely on the table if that occurs. “Cheat on me? I’ll divorce you and take you to the cleaners financially and with respect to child custody.” (For me, I would also work on getting the marriage annulled, too.)
But as a Catholic, I can’t also discount what you wrote, too—that maybe He works through different messengers and situations. “Hey, I know what my law and my Church proscribe, and I know you’re trying to be faithful to Me, but...”
Bo I am not sure what you are trying to say but the New Testament is pretty clear. That adultery is grounds for D. Not sure what the Catholic church says, but that is what the scripture says.
M(51), W(52),D(16) M-20, T-23 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018