Originally Posted by Accuray
Originally Posted by ballast
i read of folks having waywards who cry, temp check, ask for pictures of kids, exchange pictures, try to keep the LBH as a plan B, TALK...me, absolutely none of that has happened.

Your sitch is not unique ballast. Waywards and walkaways all act differently but few if any can give you a satisfying answer for "why".

The "why" is obviously about feeling out of control and trying to protect yourself from stepping into this again. You will never get a valid "why", even she doesn't know. She can make something up that fits the circumstances and sounds logical, but the real causes are far more complex and intermingled and probably have less to do with you than you might expect.

In my case I *knew* I was a good husband all along, and that's why the "big why" was particularly troublesome for me. It was never answered to my satisfaction either and I just had to accept that -- that's the way these things go.


So true. This is why it is important to realize that it can happen to even the best LBS.We want a why so we can fix it.

Now I can say that in my case, I was far from perfect. I could even go far as saying I deserved it. (Yeah, I was pretty bad at the time of BD.) But while my WW could point to bad behavior as a cause, she couldn't explain why she had put it up with it for so long, and why NOW was the time to do something. (She claimed it was turning 50, and that might have had something to do with it, but I honestly believe it was a perfect storm of factors (finding the singing app, OM timing, etc). The key is to learn and grow, no matter what your sitch or how it turns out. EVERYONE can make improvements. Use this opportunity to make them.

M(51), W(52),D(16)
M-20, T-23 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018