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i read of folks having waywards who cry, temp check, ask for pictures of kids, exchange pictures, try to keep the LBH as a plan B, TALK...me, absolutely none of that has happened.
Your sitch is not unique ballast. Waywards and walkaways all act differently but few if any can give you a satisfying answer for "why".
The "why" is obviously about feeling out of control and trying to protect yourself from stepping into this again. You will never get a valid "why", even she doesn't know. She can make something up that fits the circumstances and sounds logical, but the real causes are far more complex and intermingled and probably have less to do with you than you might expect.
In my case I *knew* I was a good husband all along, and that's why the "big why" was particularly troublesome for me. It was never answered to my satisfaction either and I just had to accept that -- that's the way these things go.
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015