AS...for me as my sitch has gone on and there's been only silence and avoidance it is really much less WHY and way more "what is up with her". I get lulled into the "well she's a WW" i think because it's more convenient to see my sitch in the others i read, but a good bit of that just simply doesn't match up. i don't think at all on how to fix her, only her path through her life can take her to wherever it's going to take her. i know that confidently and I'm grounded in that reality.
yes, i've had that thought before regarding dying. there is a total absence of ANYTHING from her, yet she's there. definitely concur on who knows what's left, i do completely know i have to continue letting her go, sick/will she get better/gone for good...only thing that i'm running towards is myself being gone for good from this situation. that is the only thing that saves me. again we had a non-communicative marriage towards the end, she was unhappy about mom/wife/family/life, we could have both been better, maybe it was a simple as that. but her just completely dying to me, zero contact outside of D...the cause relative to the reaction from her just makes no sense.
i'm just going to keep walking away from her. probably when she feels that her new life/decision is safe from judgement she may soften...i will not be there if that time ever comes. i've been emotionally abused long enough.